A case of Jelly legs

I’ve never, ever felt anything like what I experienced on the 17^th of February.  Terror in its purest form threatened my sanity that night. I may as well have been staring down the barrel of a gun, past the snapshots of  what seemed then like irrelevant moments I call my life.

My numb palms were sweating, I could hear my increasing heartbeat in my ears threatening me with stress induced stroke, but everything else felt so quiet. I stood up, my legs a similar consistency to my vodka jelly, and I approached the microphone. And I sang.

                    

Maybe I sound like I’m exaggerating as for normal people, singing in public isn’t an issue. But for me, ever since I can remember, I instinctively do an embarrassed split second 360 to spot an unsolicited audience the moment  I forget myself and let loose on a musical favourite in public but now, I feel a musical note shaped weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Everyone’s got something they feel self-conscious doing in public: dancing, eating, speaking .

For me it’s singing and I’ve decided this is the year to confront  my fear head on like a man/woman.

Life’s too short to be scared of speaking to a variety of rhythms ,which is all singing is really.

I’m reaching the ripe old age of 23 and I think it’s time for me to ditch my singing phobia baggage. I’ve already got love handles and what not, I don’t need anything else dragging me down!

I will not allow it to bother me. ( Maybe it does because I secretly love it…ah hem!!)

I have so many friends that are singers, they all have completely different styles and they’re all so talented. I’m not saying that cos they’re my friends and I have to, they really are. When Amy took to me to her cousins Louis’ studio for some light-hearted jamming, I never thought I’d get the singing bug. I can barely hold a note and I must have sounded like a dying armadillo while they both looked  on encouragingly, but I loved unlocking what I had kept so hidden.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to carry it on, improve and “find my voice” as they say. (Sorry about the cheese!)

We all need to scare ourselves shitless sometimes and I’m so glad I did.